How do I get my ex-girlfriend back?

My ex-girlfriend says she's bored and wants to experience life single. I treated her really badly and caused meaningless fights when she didn't do anything, I feel remorseful, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get her back. She's unhappy. When I called her, she was crying and said she will text me when she's ready.

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Were you happy with the ways she satisfied you?

A relationship is happiest if each partner concentrates on the happiness of the other.

Strange for someone who was treated badly to describe themselves as bored, rather than say they feel hurt.

Is it possible you are being self-critical about your behaviors toward your ex girlfriend? 

Either she is unaware of her feelings or not being fully truthful with you about her feeling badly treated.

Since she's putting up a barrier to communicating with you, better for you to respect this than contact her by phone again.

Consider in a few weeks, so each of you has time to think over your happiness with the other person, to write her an email which states your interest to re-open the relationship.

Who knows, you may even decide by the end of a few weeks, that you're fine without this particular relationship.

Depending on her response to your email, you'll know whether and how much chance there is for the relationship to clear up the problems of the past and to continue.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

More Answers