Why did my sister not defend me when my ex-husband said bad things about me?

I recently went through a divorce. My ex-husband called my sister saying bad things about me. My sister never defended me. Now that I showed the truth, she's shutting me up and saying she doesn't care about the fight. Why didn't she convey that to him from the beginning?

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

Sorry for so much emotional pain from the combination of the divorce and your sister not supporting you in the way you wish.

When you feel ready and if you feel this would help, then consider to talk to your sister from perspective to improve the relationship the two of you have.

Since the ex is gone and the sister is an ongoing person in your life, this particular incident is only one in many which the two of you will have with each other.

The disappointment you feel now as to how she handled herself, is a point to bring up to her for the sake of clarifying the type of relationship you each would like to build with each other.

As to your specific question as to why she did what she did, she is the only person who has the answer.

Start with finding out if she wants to improve the relationship altogether.   Then you can use her lack of support with the ex, as an example of how meaningful her support of you is to you.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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