Escalating disagreements between mother and wife

My wife and mother are having tense disagreements. In the past, they’ve had minor differences. For example, my wife would complain to me my mother is too overbearing; my mother would complain my wife is lazy.

However, it’s intensified lately. I think the cause is my wife talked back to her once. Now, any little disagreement is magnified, leading to major disagreements. What can I do?

Sherry Katz, LCSW
Sherry Katz, LCSW
Couples and Family Therapist, LCSW

One choice is for you and your wife to decide together what are reasonable ways and expectations to have of your mother.

From what you write it sounds like your wife and you have differences as to what is the proper and right way to talk with your mother.

Once the both of you agree on overall philosophy and some specific details for examples, then ask your mother to make time for all three of you to discuss together the expectations and standards you and your wife would like to see happen.

This is only the first step since it is possible and likely that at least on a few points, your mother will disagree and have different views.

These need to be discussed and integrated into an overall plan which all three of you are happy to live with.

The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide. If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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