How can I open up to the ones I love?

I have been pushing people away all my life. I finally have a great boyfriend who loves me, but I keep pushing him away and I don't want to. I need to learn to open up.

Figuring out the space we need between ourselves and others is an ongoing and unsolvable task.  But it sounds like you may be feeling stuck in a pattern of pushing people away and are wanting to change that.  Pushing others away may be your way of surviving relationships and may have proven to be very helpful at one point in your life.  Or it may be serving some other purpose.  One helpful way to consider changing that is to seek out a therapist.  Psychotherapy can provide you with a relationship that is in tune to you and that can provide the reflection and supportive challenges to help determine the function the 'pushing away' is serving.  It also may be helpful for you to take time to reflect on the moments when interpersonal guardedness snuck its way into the interaction.  What were you feeling right before this?  Did it provide relief?  Reflecting on what was happening just before and right after can provide some clues as to what purpose the 'pushing away' serves.

It may be helpful to communicate to the boyfriend how you experience intimacy and the discomfort it can bring you at times.  This may help him be as sensitive as you need him to be about the pace of the relationship, and to understand what may be happening when you push him away.  
The information above is intended as general information...  (more)The information above is intended as general information based on minimal information, and does not constitute health care advice. This information does not constitute communication with a counselor/therapist nor does it create a therapist-client relationship nor any of the privileges that relationship may provide.   If you are currently feeling suicidal or are in crisis, call 911 or proceed to your local emergency room.

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